Walkabout 2002 – Spiraling towards Atlanta

You Want Me To Do What?!!?Well I’m in Kentucky. If you’re on my friends list and you don’t know why I’m here, then go back and access the entry for yesterday that I backdated (hence why it doesn’t show up in your list) – it explains everything. Anyway, I arrived in Kentucky yesterday to stay with Angela and Jeff. I’ll be here today and tomorrow and then I’m heading out with Jeff and other staff members to go to Spiral a day early so I can help with set-up.

I have seen the most amazing weather over the past few days. I wished I had film in my camera. On the way from Coudersport to Brushwood, I was entranced by the clouds which rested their feet on the hills and valleys of the surrounding countryside. It was as though the whole scene had been draped in balls of webs which shifted and changed with every errant breeze. It was eerie and beautiful. Then yesterday as I was nearing my destination, the sun was setting. The sun was directly centered under a series of clouds that offered screen to the main ball but allowed the light to stream out around them. I could see the rays of light as they shot up into the sky above the clouds and the play of color around the clouds at the bottom in reds, oranges, yellows, and purples was simply breathtaking. I sat agog behind the wheel of my car having a moment of utter bliss.

Speaking of bliss, I have been listening to a tape series off and on while on this journey. It’s Jason Shulman’s Kabbalah and Ecstasy series which is a recording of a seminar he did while at Omega, a retreat center in upstate NY (that’s where I got the tape set). The entire workshop has been good, but yesterday he taught a very simple exercise that was really moving for me, so I’m going to share it with you here.

Make a list of the things you feel are your imperfections. Those things about yourself which you would rather not have. This can be fears, insecurities, personality traits, physical traits, anything which causes you pain when you think about it. Take a few hours to sit with this and do the next step in a day or two.

Sit quietly in your chair and relax taking slow deep breaths. Understand that all aspects, all details, everything about ourselves and our lives has a purpose to God. These things which we don’t like about ourselves are a gift which we offer to ourselves and our universe, there is purpose for them whether we know it or not. Offer your imperfections, one at a time, as a gift to God. Offer them as an act of service, not to get rid of them because you will still have them when you are done, but as a gift much like love or a hug where no matter how much you share you always have more to offer. (Note: this exercise is about accepting not getting rid of your imperfections)

I found this exercise to be of great use. In one fell swoop, I felt as though the load were lifted. The imperfections didn’t go away, but I felt as though I had acknowledged them and that maybe, just maybe, they might have a purpose so it might be OK for them to be there. In effect, I brought them out of the closet (something I had tried to do with my list of fears that I posted on 7/29, but this exercise was much more effective toward that end). It’s not as though I am going to cease working on them, I can just see them better now.

Anyway, I am spending today doing cleanup from the camping pack-out. I have to pull out all the gear and dry it out today since it’s supposed to rain here tomorrow. I’m also going to do a load of laundry and catch up on my emails and my journal entries. So that should be a full day. Tomorrow I’m going to visit the local Thrift Store which I have been told is terrific in the hopes of finding some more long pants/jeans. The zipper on the one pair of jeans that I have is giving out and it is annoying as well as potentially embarrassing.

Being that I’m not sure where I’m going to end up after Spiral, I’m not sure if I’m coming back this way. I’m trying to figure out how to get the contacts which I ordered and had sent to Mom’s house. I could really use them, but it’s hard to say where to send them. I know I’ll probably get to her place eventually, but I’m not sure when now. I’m even questioning if I’ll make it to Thing in the Woods. Who knows where Spiral will take me?

I find it interesting that many of the people who organize and run Spiral are practicing Sheya (sp?), the workshop I took at Starwood and wanted to find out more about. Even Angela who is arranging for this trip for me is a Sheya practitioner. I’m wondering if I’m going to wander down that path by the time I leave. It was one of the threads that I felt got left unconnected when I left Starwood, so it would be nice to tie it into something.

There is some classical music playing outside my window. I’m not sure where it’s coming from, but it’s beautiful….

I’m told that there are horses wandering on the back of Angela’s property here and I’m hoping to find the time today to hike out and visit with them.

Well, I should get my day started.

*  This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002.  To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013.  To see the entire walkabout journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.  

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