This weekend was really exhausting for me. I spent Saturday evening with Sam doing a grief healing for her as part of the finalizing of her divorce. Ken and Tra were there and I felt the growing rift between us. It is sad to see one’s friends drift away. I had to deal with the old feelings of abandonment that come up each time I lose someone in my life.
Then there was the Reiki class on Sunday. i really didn’t want to teach it. I felt obilgated to since so many of the circle members were showing up for it. But it seems that this was not true either since there were two last-minute cancellations and one no-show. So it was a good group at six students, but not the full cast of characters I had expected. I am seriously considering just dropping the circle stuff altogether. The people in the group don’t seem to hold it as a priority, so why should I? As usual, despite my requests that everyone be on time, two members were really late. Grrr. I was not a happy camper. But the good news was that I exercised my right as the instructor and took a turn on each healing table.
I got some much-needed energy work done. I finally got rid of stuff that has been hanging around in my aura since my divorce. And cleared out some other stuff that was ready to go. It was very healing. Then I spent a really good evening talking with Sam about my stuff and evolving into a conversation about magick and growth and energy. It was a good evening. Then a call from Daniel and off to bed.
Today I’m a little tired, but feeling better overall. I think the healing did a lot of good and finally getting some me-time was really good for me too. I am looking around at my boundaries, my friends, my living situations, and my life and making some conscious choices about them. That’s always a step in the right direction.
Update 2014 – Ironically, this was not the last of the stuff hanging out in my energy field around my divorce. The divorce was back in 1998. This post was originally made in 2003 and now it is 2014 and I just did some more work on it. It seems that this is the first time in 16 years that I have considered getting married again. I know this because this panic arose when I considered it and along with the panic came a wave of guilt. It seems I was still taking on responsibility for my husband getting out of the Navy when he really didn’t want to (even though that was our agreement before we got married). So I had to go through the process of forgiving myself and acknowledging that he was an adult who made his own decision. So, 16 years later and I’m still processing. Good thing I’m no longer attached to being done on any particular issue. 😉
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.