Walkabout 2002 – Breaking Through My Defenses

You Want Me To Do What?So I went homeless again yesterday. I was thinking that I was fine, but it seems that I wasn’t as fine as I had thought. I spent the day being a little snippy and the night being out of sorts and grumpy. Daniel was patient through it all (well almost all of it). I told him that I was feeling a little drained. I had needed some time for me and had not gotten any recently. Meaning, I hadn’t had anyone listen to me for long enough to make me feel better about things recently. He suggested that he would be willing to help with that this morning. So I tried to patiently wait through the night. I went to bed frustrated and upset for a variety of stupid reasons.

I woke up angry, my jaw sore from clenching my teeth all night. As he got up and started moving around, I got more annoyed, thinking that he’d better not try to wake me up for sex this morning. Grrrr. He got back into bed, as I expected, but he didn’t snuggle right up as usual. He placed his hand on my shoulders and waited. I calmed down enough to realize that I wasn’t really angry at him, I was just angry and upset. I pulled my legs up so he could scoot over a little closer. He did, but just a little. I got more of a grip on myself and realized that he wasn’t the enemy. I leaned back a little and he snuggled up behind me.

What followed was some of the most effective energy work I’ve ever experienced, combined with a loving touch that still brings tears to my eyes. I managed to get to the bottom of a core issue for me. I did it in the most loving, safe space I have ever experienced.

Daniel mentioned in his journal a few months ago that when he was sick, I just knew how to take care of him without making him feel smothered. I was edified, but not as amazed as he was about it. Today I am stunned and amazed at how he knew just how to break through my defenses and get at what was bothering me. Without a word, he touched my pain and made it go away. It was amazing and surreal, and timeless. I am so lucky.

* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.

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