Talking With My Observer

Self diagnoses

Observer Mode

If you’ve done any personal growth work, then you know that the best way to become aware of changes that you need to make is to start splitting your consciousness into two parts -the part of you that has the experience and that part of you that watches you have it so that you can see how you are handling things and what stories might be playing out in the process.  This second part is called being in “Observer Mode“.

I’ve been doing this for a while now in my own life and, you know, it’s sometimes pretty schizophrenic in my head.  I find myself arguing with myself at times.  It’s really ironic and totally strange, but sometimes, it’s entertaining as well.  Here’s an example of the types of conversation that I have:

“I feel like crap.”
“Hooray!  You’re allowing yourself to feel!”
“But I feel like crap!”
“Yes, isn’t it wonderful?”
“Bite me, bitch.”
“Wow, we’re really attached to feeling like crap.  I wonder why that is?”
“It doesn’t matter – I feel LIKE CRAP!”
“Yes, yes, I hear you.  I also hear that you’re angry that you feel like
crap.”
“Well, yeah.  I shouldn’t have to feel this way.  But then if I didn’t feel
this way then I wouldn’t appreciate when I felt better. Oh, damn it!  You’ve
ruined my perfectly good wallow.  I hate you!”
“You love me”
“I know, but shit.  It was a really good wallow.  You never let me have any
fun.”
“Yeah, right – you KNOW that comment isn’t true.”
“Whatever – OK, alright – I’m over myself.”
“About time.  Let’s have ice cream.”

 

1 thought on “Talking With My Observer”

  1. Pingback: Sinking Into Observer Mode | Kelle Sparta

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