Walkabout 2002 – You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!? – Shamanic Initiation

You Want Me To Do What?!!?

Spirit Has Lost Its Mind

Ever since I first asked to be on my spiritual path during a grail ritual performed at 3:00 am with 20 people in 1998 – this thought has gone through my mind on a regular basis.  “You want me to do WHAT?!!?” I have asked the question over and over again whenever I get directions from spirit that seem to make no sense.

You see, in personal growth you start with the “wow, this stuff looks cool” stage and then you begin to see the results from the few things that you’ve experimented with.  Then you go into the “Really?  It works?  How often?” stage.  And in this stage, you start proving to yourself that this stuff really works.  Some people also use this stage to spread the word about their new discoveries – bringing their friends into the mix to add social proof to experimental proof, just to make good and sure that no one is pulling the wool over their eyes.  Then, once you’ve proved it to yourself, it’s time.  Time to pull out all the stops and hit the stage where the universe asks you to prove yourself to it.

You’ve been demanding proof for weeks, months, years.  Now the universe wants to have its own proof in return.  You have to prove that after all you’ve learned, after all that has been demonstrated to you, that you are willing to have faith that the pieces you do not yet understand are actually worth trusting in spite of your lack of proof.  You are asked to be faithful.  To trust that you will be taken care of.  To trust that what you are asked to do is for a good cause, even if you will never know what that cause is.  Enter the “You want me to do WHAT?!!?” stage.  And this was the stage that I was entering as we came out of the 9/11 attacks and moved into the end of 2002.

Shortly after 9/11, my house mate announced that he was getting married again – in December.  I knew that was bad news for me because he had made me the woman of the house in the absence of his previous wife and I knew that I was in for a serious “putting in my place” by him to make room for the new wife.  So I started planning my move.  I looked at apartments, made applications and got rejected over and over again by landlords.  So that, by the time the wedding happened on Dec 21, 2001, I still didn’t have a place.  So, in an effort to avoid the inevitable conflict in my house, I opted to just throw all of my stuff in storage and arranged to stay one night each week with a different student from my teaching circle.  I became a kind of a traveling priestess.

During this time, I kept looking for a place to call home, but eventually it became clear that I just wasn’t meant to find one.  Ultimately, as you’ll see in the posts that follow, I ended up on spiritual pilgrimage.  I didn’t intend to.  It just happened that way.  Here are some of the things that happened to open the way for the journey to take place.

  • The store I had been working in went out of business and I ended up on unemployment.  This provided me with $300/mo. which paid for my car insurance, gas, and cell phone bill.
  • My car got broken into and my ancient laptop got stolen (right after I had backed everything up).  It was insured for replacement value and since it had been top of the line when purchased 4 years before, it was valued at $1700.
  • I used $700 of that to pay off the last of my car loan so that I wouldn’t have to worry about a car payment on the journey.
  • A friend gifted me with the money to get the tattoo that would become my vision quest.
  • Without my knowledge, a random person on the Starwood list forwarded my question about getting a tattoo at a festival I was attending to the tattoo artist’s email.  He emailed me at 1:00am, just before he would be out of internet connection, and I happened to be online to answer him and we arranged for the tattoo to happen.  (He would have been booked solid otherwise.)

I was told during the journey that it would be 10 years before I fully understood the purpose of the trip.  Today, on the 11th anniversary of that journey, I am republishing my journal entries from that time.

I am also adding in observations from my life now – things that are coming clearer as I re-read these entries.  [These entries will look like this.]  

All of the entries will have the picture you see at the top of this page in them.  I’m doing this in an effort to make it clear when I am visiting the past journey vs. talking about the current journey in today’s blog posts – which I will continue to write as time goes on.  The entries from 2002 will also all be included in a single category.  So if you want to read them all without interruption, you can click on the category on the right side of the screen and you will be taken to a page that only includes the blog posts from the journey.

I hope you enjoy the virtual journey.  Let’s get started.

July 1, 2002
Welcome! This is the first entry into my journal. This journal is meant to be the journal of my journey of walkabout that started when I left for Starwood Festival in Western, NY on July 21st. Today is August 6th, 2002 and it is the beginning of my entries into the log. I will be going back and filling in the history as I can, but everything from here forward is being written as it happens. I hope this provides friends and voyeurs with information and insight into my journey. I have no idea where I’m going nor any idea if I’ll recognize it when I get there. Therefore I am forced to enjoy the journey for its own sake. Not as difficult a task as I had imagined it would be for this former control freak. Many of the entries you see will be clips from emails sent out to friends who ask me questions, etc. These give me a direction in which to discuss things. So, if you see something you’ve read before, it’s probably because I was writing to you in the email in question. Well, that’s it for the intro. Now, on to the story.

07/06/02 – Great Kelle’s Stuff GiveAway – Franklin, MA
07/21/02 – Starwood – Sherman, NY
07/28/02 – Daniel’s House – Bloomington, IN
08/14/02 – Chuck’s House – Coudersport, PA
08/15/02 – Muin Mound ADF Fest – Bridgeport, NY
08/18/02 – The Fountain House B&B – Wilton, NH
08/20/02 – Jeff and Midnight’s House – Salem, MA
08/24/02 – John/Gumby’s Place – Coventry, MA
08/25/02 – Tom’s Place – Worcester, MA
08/26/02 – Ann’s House – Aerosmith Concert – N. Attleboro, MA
0 8/27/02 – Ludwig’s House – Groton, CT
08/30/02 – Andrew’s Place – Pomfret, CT
09/02/02 – Mark’s House – Enfield, CT and then Chuck’s Friend’s House – Danbury, CT for the night
09/03/02 – Molly’s House – Fairfield, CT and then Chuck’s Parent’s House – Queens, NY
09/08/02 – Chuck’s House – Coudersport, PA
09/13/02 – Heartsong Festival at Brushwood – Sherman, NY
09/16/02 – Angela’s House – Ryland Heights, KY
09/18/02 – SPiRaL – Atlanta, GA
09/25/02 – Caroline’s House – Orlando, FL
10/01/02 – Melissa’s House – Charlotte, NC
10/07/02 – Chris and Jacob’s – St. Augustine, FL
10/16/02 – Magnoliafest – Suwannee, FL
10/21/02 – Chris & Jacob’s House – St. Augustine, FL
10/25/02 – Anna’s – Centreville, VA
10/27/02 – Mark and Paula’s – Enfield, CT
10/28/02 – Sandi and Chris’s – Framingham, MA
10/31/02 – Ken and Tra’s – Medfield, MA
11/01/02 – Dragonfly Housewarming- Lowell, MA
11/02/02 – Tracy’s – Yarmouthport, MA
11/03/02 – Jeff and Midnight’s – Salem, MA
11/06/02 – Sam & Tom’s – Bridgewater, MA
11/07/02 – Tom’s – W orcester, MA
11/08/02 – Griffin Grove Inn – Vermont
11/11/02 – Peter’s – Taunton, MA
11/12/02 – Andrew’s – Pomfret, CT
11/13/02 – Ludwig’s – Groton, CT
11/18/02 – Daniel’s – Lowell, MA
11/21/02 – Jeff and Suzie’s – Salem, MA
11/22/02 – Michelle’s – Jamaica Plain, MA
11/23/02 – Che’ Dragonfly – Lowell, MA
11/24/02 – Bill & Amy’s – Rockville, MD
11/25/02 – Anna and Jeff’s – Centerville, VA
11/26/02 – Holly’s – Cincinnati, OH
11/27/02 – Sandy’s – Cincinnati, OH
11/29/02 – Crow’s – Kansas City, MO
11/30/02 – Steamboat Springs Resort – Steamboat Springs, CO
12/07/02 – Crow’s – Kansas City, MO
12/08/02 – Keter’s – Cincinnati, OH
12/11/02 – Daniel’s – Bloomington, IN
12/14/02 – Mom’s – Genoa City, WI
12/18/02 – Jamie’s – Akron, OH
12/19/02 – Daniel’s – Lowell, MA
12/24/02 – Ludwig’s Cabin – Maine
12/27/02 – Daniel’s – Lowell, MA
01/02/03 – Bill & Amy’s – Rockville, MD
01/12/03 – ?

See the next step of the journey

*This is the first post in what was my spiritual journey.  To see the entire journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.  

Join The Mailing List

Get access to special offers and insights into new ways of being.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.

142 thoughts on “Walkabout 2002 – You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!? – Shamanic Initiation”

  1. Pingback: Here Is a List of My Fears... | Kelle Sparta

  2. Pingback: Mundanities, Synchonicities, and Recipes | Kelle Sparta

  3. Pingback: What I'm Worth... Establishing a Sense of Self-Worth | Kelle Sparta

  4. Pingback: Walkabout Equals Spiritual Pilgrimage - Duh | Kelle Sparta

  5. Pingback: Snake Skins and Rituals | Kelle Sparta

  6. Pingback: At Muin Mound Grove (Transcribed from written journal) | Kelle Sparta

  7. Pingback: Ideas for capital | Kelle Sparta

  8. Pingback: Serendipity and stuff | Kelle Sparta

  9. Pingback: Bankruptcy Court and Aerosmith | Kelle Sparta

  10. Pingback: Aerosmith and Manifestations | Kelle Sparta

  11. Pingback: Faith | Kelle Sparta

  12. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Change in Plans | Kelle Sparta

  13. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Pomfret, Pilgrimage, and Plato | Kelle Sparta

  14. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Pilgrim's Path | Kelle Sparta

  15. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Focus Equals Form | Kelle Sparta

  16. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Hitting the Wall - Faith, Fear and Surrender | Kelle Sparta

  17. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Abundance | Kelle Sparta

  18. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Moving on....again | Kelle Sparta

  19. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Spiraling towards Atlanta | Kelle Sparta

  20. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Clarification | Kelle Sparta

  21. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - SPiRaLing towards completion.... | Kelle Sparta

  22. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Updates, needs/wants and other details | Kelle Sparta

  23. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - A couple of final notes from the road out of Orlando | Kelle Sparta

  24. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Chipped tooth | Kelle Sparta

  25. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Dentistry, time frames, and finances | Kelle Sparta

  26. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 – Leaving Town | Kelle Sparta

  27. Pingback: Dreams and Plans | Kelle Sparta

  28. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Sleep and The Florida Beach at Night | Kelle Sparta

  29. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Drumming and Hanging Around | Kelle Sparta

  30. Pingback: Update | Kelle Sparta

  31. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 – Change of Plans | Kelle Sparta

  32. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Leaving for Another Festival | Kelle Sparta

  33. Pingback: Last thoughts before heading out | Kelle Sparta

  34. Pingback: Last thoughts before heading out | Spiritual Leader University

  35. Pingback: Virginia | Spiritual Leader University

  36. Pingback: Coming Home | Kelle Sparta

  37. Pingback: Coming Home | Spiritual Leader University

  38. Pingback: VA to CT in one easy step | Spiritual Leader University

  39. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 – VA to CT in one easy step | Kelle Sparta

  40. Pingback: Progress | Spiritual Leader University

  41. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Progress, Allergies, and Fear | Kelle Sparta

  42. Pingback: MA | Spiritual Leader University

  43. Pingback: Sawain | Kelle Sparta

  44. Pingback: Photos | Spiritual Leader University

  45. Pingback: What I want | Spiritual Leader University

  46. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 Finding My Edges, Establishing My Boundaries | Kelle Sparta

  47. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Change of Plans | Kelle Sparta

  48. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Going Out Of Town | Kelle Sparta

  49. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - How To Not Worry About Money | Kelle Sparta

  50. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - One More Thing in my Search For Self | Kelle Sparta

  51. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Seems Like Old Times | Kelle Sparta

  52. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Heading North | Kelle Sparta

  53. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Two Strikes and I'm Out | Kelle Sparta

  54. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Banner Day | Kelle Sparta

  55. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Staying another night | Kelle Sparta

  56. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Agent of Change? | Kelle Sparta

  57. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Problem Solved | Kelle Sparta

  58. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Change is good for everyone | Kelle Sparta

  59. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Willy Wonka, beading, my aunt, and more | Kelle Sparta

  60. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Writing definitions | Kelle Sparta

  61. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Brief Snafu | Kelle Sparta

  62. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Does Anyone Enjoy Drama? | Kelle Sparta

  63. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Sounding Board and Energy Work | Kelle Sparta

  64. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Photos | Kelle Sparta

  65. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Welcome to the Holiday Season | Kelle Sparta

  66. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Change of Plans | Spiritual Leader University

  67. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Amazing Inner Child Work | Kelle Sparta

  68. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Drama Equals Distraction | Kelle Sparta

  69. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Journey Continues and Someone New | Kelle Sparta

  70. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Powerful Change | Kelle Sparta

  71. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Commitment to the Process | Kelle Sparta

  72. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - More Intimate | Kelle Sparta

  73. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Long Conversations | Kelle Sparta

  74. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - From Terrified To Meditative | Kelle Sparta

  75. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Elephant in the Room | Kelle Sparta

  76. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - A Place To Call My Own Soon | Kelle Sparta

  77. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - In Love With Who I Am | Kelle Sparta

  78. Pingback: Wakabout 2002 - Real People isWakabout 2002 - Being Real is Always the Best Choice Always Best | Kelle Sparta

  79. Pingback: Research, Resistance, and Taking Some Down Time | Kelle Sparta

  80. Pingback: Psychic Readings, Signs, and Magickal Workings | Kelle Sparta

  81. Pingback: Who am I? In-Depth Self-Review | Kelle Sparta

  82. Pingback: Coming Home and Leaving Again - Recreating My Life | Kelle Sparta

  83. Pingback: Open Relationships | Kelle Sparta

  84. Pingback: More Resistance and Still Looking For Balance | Kelle Sparta

  85. Pingback: Memento - It's a Sign | Kelle Sparta

  86. Pingback: Panic | Kelle Sparta

  87. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Manifesting At Its Best | Kelle Sparta

  88. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Stir Crazy | Kelle Sparta

  89. Pingback: Life Questions On Pleasure and Joy | Kelle Sparta

  90. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Forgiven | Kelle Sparta

  91. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Dressing Up Again | Kelle Sparta

  92. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Job Interview | Kelle Sparta

  93. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Abundance | Kelle Sparta

  94. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Job Interview Part 2 | Kelle Sparta

  95. Pingback: Walkabout 2002- An Update, Finally | Kelle Sparta

  96. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Imbolc Ritual | Kelle Sparta

  97. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - I Love You Too | Kelle Sparta

  98. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - 15 Minute Rule | Kelle Sparta

  99. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Iced Coffee and Wish I Had a Job | Kelle Sparta

  100. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Divination Class and Advanced Reiki | Kelle Sparta

  101. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - High-Stress Life - Not Again | Kelle Sparta

  102. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - First Interview Down, Two to Go | Kelle Sparta

  103. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Quiz | Kelle Sparta

  104. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Good to be wanted | Kelle Sparta

  105. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Humm, Motivation Factor | Kelle Sparta

  106. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Free Coffee Everyday | Kelle Sparta

  107. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Overwhelming and Processing | Kelle Sparta

  108. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Dreams Interpreted Well | Kelle Sparta

  109. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Car Shopping or Clutch Fluid? | Kelle Sparta

  110. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Interview with a Sneeze | Kelle Sparta

  111. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Ta Ke Ti Na | Kelle Sparta

  112. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Master's Degree? | Kelle Sparta

  113. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Passion... Do you know yours? | Kelle Sparta

  114. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - My Passion - My Career | Kelle Sparta

  115. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Looking in the Right Places | Kelle Sparta

  116. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Going Homeless, again | Kelle Sparta

  117. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Non-profits | Kelle Sparta

  118. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Breaking Through My Defenses | Kelle Sparta

  119. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Progression | Kelle Sparta

  120. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - What is love? | Kelle Sparta

  121. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Overwhelmed | Kelle Sparta

  122. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Good Stuff and Disconcerting | Kelle Sparta

  123. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Employed!! | Kelle Sparta

  124. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Wierd Dreams | Kelle Sparta

  125. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - As it should be | Kelle Sparta

  126. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Looking Forward | Kelle Sparta

  127. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Mach Speed | Kelle Sparta

  128. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Power Struggles | Kelle Sparta

  129. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Hard But Healing Weekend | Kelle Sparta

  130. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Up In The Air | Kelle Sparta

  131. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Your New Life Starts Today | Kelle Sparta

  132. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Loving My New Job | Kelle Sparta

  133. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - New Job, Projects, and Living Quarters? | Kelle Sparta

  134. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Money and a New Home | Kelle Sparta

  135. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - Self-Care Time | Kelle Sparta

  136. Pingback: Walkabout 2002 - A Final Update To The Story - This Is The End (Or Is It?) | Kelle Sparta

  137. Pingback: Spiritual Journey 2014: The Call | Kelle Sparta

  138. Pingback: Starwood - Vision Quest and The Beginning of the Walkabout | Kelle Sparta

  139. Pingback: I Wished To Be On My Spiritual Path And Then... |

  140. Pingback: I Wished To Be On My Spiritual Path And Then… | Boston Pagan

  141. Pingback: Great Kelle's Stuff Giveaway |

  142. Pingback: The Synchronicities of Meeting Daniel at Starwood |

Comments are closed.