On Negativity and Depression

Muddy Feet

You can get back from being fully consumed, but it is like an addict breaking the addiction.  The negative thoughts become your identity.  Instead of something bad happening to you occasionally (because things happen to all of us – good and bad), you become a victim.  And people who see themselves as victims, energetically invite more of the same to support their self-view.  We are amazingly creative creatures – we will create whatever we believe.  It is one of the most difficult things to do – giving up the story of being a victim.  Because in being a victim, we get sympathy and support from others and a reason we can blame something else why our lives aren’t the way we want them to be. We don’t have to be responsible.

And yet, that is an illusion.  Because, ultimately we are responsible for everything in our lives.  We draw things to us and we engage the world with a specific energy.  And sometimes, even when we are being clear and open, something random will come, something unpleasant.  And even then we are responsible for how we react, how we choose to take it in (or not), and who we become as a result of the experience.

And when you are losing your personal battle with the slime, reach out to others.  Read inspirational writings, listen to beautiful music, engage the passion and joy of another who has kicked the slime off of their feet for one more day.  Because that passion is powerful.  It will entrain with you and pull the slime away from your feet, just enough to allow you to kick it off with some effort on your part. When you don’t have the strength to fight it anymore, borrow someone else’s.  But get out of the slime.   No one can do it for you (just like you can’t do it for someone else).  But we can offer you support in your battle.

But here is the challenge.  How do you fight something you don’t want to feed?  How do you get rid of something without adding energy to it?  The answer is that you starve it to death.  So a battle with the slime is an inner battle with yourself to stay disciplined.  It is a choice to only engage in thoughts that bring you up and support you.  It is a choice to turn your head away from the seductive thoughts of being a victim.  It is a choice to completely forget that anything negative can cross your mind.  This isn’t denial – you know these things exist, you accept them, but you don’t feed them.

And so, the key is to not engage the negativity.  Because, once engaged, it becomes depression and depression becomes a self-definition of being a victim – a victim of circumstance, of another person, of life itself.  The slime is always sucking at your toes, waiting for the moment when you will feed it.  It is hungry and wild and it wants to grow.  It isn’t sentient – you give it form.  It knows only how to feed and grow.  But part of our practice of personal power is to hold the slime at bay.  It is never eliminated – even the great masters have times of doubt and pain when the slime overcomes them, you are no better than they.  And so, do not expect perfection in this.  Do not expect to ever be done with it.  It is a daily practice.  Choose to be positive, choose not to engage in thoughts that don’t serve you.  Choose to keep the slime at bay.


6 thoughts on “On Negativity and Depression”

  1. thanks Kelly for this most inspiring piece , as i am still job hunting it can get very discouraging and reading this piece was very helpfull. love and light tammi

  2. It feels like as busy as I keep myself (work, party, or hanging with family) nothing removes this depression that I have that’s keeping me in a not wanting to do anything state of mind. Don’t know if anyone can relate but if you can I would love some advice, it’s over a year and this feeling won’t go away.

  3. Dear Noriko,

    Sorry for the late response – my spam filter had caught you.

    Without knowing more about you, it’s hard to offer advice that’s not generic. I will say this based on your comments. Often, we keep ourselves incredibly busy to avoid thinking about things we don’t want to deal with. This avoidance of ourselves can result in depression. I’d suggest sitting down with a coach or therapist and really looking at what you’ve been running away from. (It helps to have someone else to keep you moving forward in the process – especially when the depression is well established. Trying to do it alone may end up sinking you in deeper because you won’t have anyone to help you change your stories around it and you may end up feeling hopeless about it. Get some help – preferably from a qualified professional.)

    Also, be aware that oftentimes we will self-medicate with sugar and caffeine to keep us going. These have the temporary effect of making us feel a little better, but on the back end the crash from coming off of these actually exacerbates the situation, making things worse, not better in the long run. Weaning yourself off of these foods would probably help in the healing process as well.

    I’m available for private coaching if you need it. 508-243-6257.


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