I’ve heard people say that losing faith in God (or whatever higher power you believe in) is the worst thing ever, but I don’t believe that’s true. It’s bad, yes, but even worse than that is losing faith and trust in yourself.
Are You Trustworthy to You?
When we make bad decisions or when things aren’t going our way, we often begin to question whether we are capable of choosing wisely. We wonder whether we can be trusted with the important decisions. And since it’s our life, not being able to be trusted in those decisions becomes a problem because without it, we are left with two choices:
- Rely on others to make our decisions for us (leaving us at the mercy of their opinions, beliefs, limitations, and more).
- Do nothing because we are too afraid to choose unwisely again.
Not Making a Decision Is Still Making One
The problem with not making a decision is that choosing to stand still (even if it feels like unwanted paralysis) is still making a choice. It’s a choice to not use our gifts and talents for fear of not being received or being sabotaged by ourselves or others. It might even be a fear of being incredibly successful and then being afraid of the very public fall that could come after success is met. Whatever the fear – it’s real and it’s keeping us from getting where we want to go.
Letting Go Of The Past
In order to have a successful new beginning in our lives, we need to be willing to let go of what no longer serves us. We need to be willing to make space in our lives in order for something new to arrive. The old MUST fall away – no matter how comfortable or friendly it might seem. We have to step out on a limb and risk it breaking beneath us.
Choose A Direction – It Doesn’t Matter Which Way You Go
When you are standing in valley with no knowledge of what lies outside of the valley, the only way to determine the path out of the valley is to start climbing out. When you reach the rim of the valley, you’ll have a new perspective that will tell you which direction to go in from there. But if you insist on knowing the “right” direction before you set out when there is no way to have that knowledge, all you do at best is go walking around in circles, at worst you sit on your hands and claim to be a victim of circumstance. So pick a direction and start walking. The way will become clear as you get further up the hilll.
Course Corrections are NOT Mistakes
When you get to the top of the ridge, you may find that your new perspective tells you that it would have been faster to go up the opposite side of the valley. Oh well. You know that now, but you had no way of knowing it then. There is no need to rebuke yourself for choosing the “wrong” path. Instead delight in the fact that you have a better idea of which way to go now and at the worst, at least you are out of that stupid valley. Airplanes on autopilot make constant course corrections. Did the computer make a mistake to put it off course? Of course not! The winds blew, the earth moved, and the environment acted on the plane. We cannot control the outside world – only ourselves. So course corrections should be assumed to be part of the process.
What If I Don’t Like The Rim?
You can always walk back down into the valley. But usually, we find that there is a friendlier valley over one of the edges – larger and with more resources. The exploration is usually well worth the effort.
Mistakes are NOT Bad
We have this horrible habit as adults of expecting that we have to know everything and get everything right the first time. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood – my guess is during adolescence – we forget that there is a learning curve and that mistakes often come with unexpected benefits (the glue used for sticky notes, for example, was a mistake made by someone trying to make a super sticky glue). In short, stop giving yourself a hard time.
Make a Decision
Are you stuck in a rut? Do you not know which way to go? Stop trying to figure it out and just try something different and keep trying new different things until something works or makes you happy or both.
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