About Kelle Sparta

What About Your Personal Work?

I came into this life with knowledge about the spirit world and gifts that were active. I was blessed to have a mother who had grown up afraid of her gifts and was determined that I would not be afraid of mine. We studied together: Seth, Ram Dass, Abraham Hicks, J.C. Knight, psychic development, tarot, palmistry, you name it, we studied it. All the while I knew my mother was looking for answers for herself too – answers that would take her out of the pain she was in, out of the alcoholic haze that kept her on an even keel so she could (not) deal with the trauma of her early childhood. I longed to heal her, to put her demons to rest, so I studied harder.

While helping mom study for her nursing exam and integrating all of Grey’s Anatomy at the same time, I rubbed her sore feet and worked out the cramps that were a combination of standing all day and dehydration from the alcohol. We were best friends.

Then I went to college and the distance grew between us. Partly because that’s what happens when you go away to school and partly because I couldn’t watch her slow slide into death – killing herself a little each day with each drink and cigarette. I can’t tell you how many times I pointed out that suicide was faster.

And yet, despite the distance, I still searched for an answer – taking psychology classes, reading self-help books, reading abnormal psychology books in my spare time. Because by then I realized that not only did I need to find an answer for her, but I needed one for me too because I had taken on her issues out of love for her.

I was a perfectionist and a know-it-all. I got more done in a day than most got done in a week. And yet I secretly feared I would be called out for being a fraud and a fuck-up. I feared that someone would yell at me and find fault (an artifact from my childhood with my rage-aholic father). But more, I feared the damage I would do if I lost control and yelled back. With all my intuition, I had the ability to know how to shred someone in an instant and had done so on rare and very regretted occasions in the past. Being an empath, I could feel the damage I had done, the pain I had caused. I had a well of rage and I was dangerous and I knew it. So I worked even harder to be a good person, to make up for my short comings.

At 28 I got a divorce and dumped my entire life. I went to live with a bunch of shamans and thus began the 12 year hard-core personal growth path that led me to where I am today. I got to the root of the problems, but more importantly, I found solutions that allowed me to stop being hyper-vigililant (tracking people coming and going from a room and how they were feeling at all times), start to relax, and find some peace in my life. I even eventually found true joy. The paths I walked were hard. So hard, in fact, that I called myself a spiritual masochist. The pain was intense, but each time I faced down an inner demon, I came out stronger, happier, more balanced. This, I realized, is what Mom never did. She took in the information but never did the inner work of facing those demons.

It’s years later now and Mom has long passed away. Dad died last winter too. But the gifts I got from learning how to overcome the challenges they presented me with are still bearing fruit. I have turned those years’ worth of learning into an online program that now teaches others in only a couple of years, what took me 20 years to learn on my own. I have optimized the process and this is my life’s work. Helping others who have had similar childhoods gracefully extract themselves from the straight-jacket of coping mechanisms they had to embrace to survive to adulthood.
I am so grateful to them both for the inspiration and the dedication to the cause. Without them, I would not have this beautiful gift to offer. My purpose would have gone unfulfilled.

I love you both. Thank you.