In this episode, Kelle Sparta welcomes life coach Kevin S. Are you a powerful manifester? Kelle and Kevin uncover the secrets to finding and getting into flow to allow the dollars to pour in. Tune in to get all the details.
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Manifesting Money – Finding The Flow With Kevin S.
With me is The Spirit Doctor, Kelle Sparta.
Kevin, how are you?
I’m doing great. How are you?
I’m doing well. He is the latest person who is auditioning to be my cohost to be Joey’s replacement. I want to welcome you to the show as well officially, Kevin.
Let’s give everybody a little bit of history about how you got here.
What it amounts to is I’m from the Midwest. I moved down to Florida a few years ago. I love it here. There’s constant sunshine. I live where everybody vacations. There’s that. While I was down here, I got married and went to an antique town. From there, we started to get a little feeling in one of the buildings. I wasn’t sure what it was. All of a sudden, it grabbed ahold of me and just about ripped me apart. My wife asked me what had happened, and I told her. It started me on this journey to find out what in the heck was going on. I found your show. The rest is history there.
You have been bingeing for a year and a half and multiple listening.
It’s 100% true. The one thing that you keep saying is you only hear what you are ready to hear. Every time I listened to an episode, it was like, “She never said that before. She changed her recording. Why did she change her recording?”
I don’t have time to change the recordings. I’m too busy making new ones. That’s exactly what happens.
In a nutshell, it has been a fantastic journey. It’s being able to learn and make yourself a better person inevitably continually. You can’t be a horrible person going into this.
You can be, but you will reap what you sow.
It has been a fantastic journey. My wife is on her journey as well. She started hers a little bit before I started mine. She thinks it’s funny. She feels that sometimes I’m so far ahead of her. I’m like, “I don’t know anything.”
The universe will not give you more of something you’re already handling poorly.
I hear that from people who are badasses in the spiritual world. It’s very interesting because there’s a place where you come in and go, “I know all this stuff. It’s so cool.” You learn a little bit more and go, “I don’t know anything.” It’s because you get enough knowledge to go, “Look how much more there is.”
It’s overcoming the blocks and everything else. It’s like, “I’m all done.” No, you are not. Have another set times two?
I did an episode. I did the SoulTreat. There was a woman there who was a healer who was like, “I don’t want to be a wounded healer, so I did my shadow work. More showed up.” I’m like, “That never stops.” She’s like, “How do I not be a wounded healer?” I’m like, “You have to get your shadow work done to the point where if somebody triggers it, you don’t lose control over it. It may not be completely done but it no longer takes over your entire being. You can still stay present to what you are doing.” That’s always the entertainment. Speaking of which, you are a life coach. Tell us about that.
I was looking for a direction where I was going and what I was going to do with all this wealth of information. Throughout my whole life, all my jobs and everything that I’ve enjoyed doing has always been helping other people. Back before I moved out of Illinois, I was a fireman. I worked on the ambulance. That was the absolute best job I’ve ever had. I coached my son’s football team, volunteered at the boys and girls club, and all kinds of things like that. That’s what I love to do.
I had to have a real job. In every job I’ve had, I felt lost. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I would do well but I never felt like I belong there. Something was always missing. Now I know what was missing. It’s the empath thing. I don’t know how to fix somebody. I want to fix everybody. I looked into it and said, “If I’m going to go, I’m going to go all the way.” I got my NLP coaching certification, started my website and a Facebook page, and said, “Here we go.” I have an Instagram too, although I’m not very good at it.
It’s you and me both. I do TikTok and cross-post to Instagram. That’s my Instagram. There’s this whole, “I have to look perfect and be fabulous.” I’m not an Instagram girl. It’s not my thing.
I plan on stages. That’s one of those stages. That’s going to be a hot minute before I get into TikTok.
My rule of thumb for that is to pick two that you are going to be good at. TikTok isn’t even where I do my good stuff. TikTok is where I do my personal stuff. It’s a personal account. It’s listed as a business account because I wanted to see the analytics on it but half the time, I’m doing random TikTok challenges. It’s just me chatting about shit that I care about. It is not one of my channels per se. I do Facebook and LinkedIn. You’ve got to pick where you are going to be known. If you try to do everything, you are going to make yourself crazy. It’s not worth it.
Thank you for referencing that because there is this lovely TEDxNaperville Talk. It’s Darria Long’s An ER Doctor on triaging your “crazy busy” life. Everybody should listen to it because it is brilliant. It’s about this whole concept of crazy. I’m notorious for saying, “How’s life? It’s crazy. It has been insane.” She’s saying, “There’s a difference between crazy and busy. Instead of crazy mode, use ready mode.” I’m like, “That’s brilliant.” Watch the video. You will understand what I’m saying. It’s a must-see.
Let’s get into our topic here. We are talking about manifesting money and finding the flow. We are going to talk about this from a couple of different perspectives. We are going to talk about it from a personal and a business perspective since you are getting your coaching practice off the ground here. That’s relevant. This isn’t officially becoming a lightworker but what the hell? I live for this shit. Why not? In terms of manifesting money, one of the first things that I want to mention is to stop using affirmations.
Don’t use affirmations, mantras, prosperity spells, and all of that other bullshit, you know why? It’s because nobody who has money does that shit. You want to be in alignment with people who have money. They don’t do that shit because they have money. You see the difference. This is about alignment. If you want to find the flow, you have to find the flow of what it feels like to have money. I’m going to tell you that because I had many times in my life when I was going, “I don’t know how I’m going to make rent.” Thankfully, for me, that is no longer the case.
I want to tell you the big differences between living in those two spaces. The first one is when you think about paying the bills, you don’t stress out. All your bills are on auto-pay. You don’t think about them because you know there’s enough money in the account to pay for them. If there’s an extra $10 charge, a $50 charge or something like that, you are like, “I will get it fixed. It’s not a heart attack.” If your car breaks down, you have money in the savings account to take care of that. It’s like, “It sucks that I got to spend $800 but I got it. It’s no big deal.”
There’s a lot lower stress level when it comes to money. That’s number one. You are going to be sitting there going, “That’s all well and fine when you have the money but how do you do that now?” I hear you. The answer is you have to choose your response and look at the bill consciously. I don’t care if you’ve got $300, $3,000, $30,000 or $300,000 in your bank account. What you are going to do is look at the bill and go, “There’s no problem. I’ve got that covered.” Even if the money isn’t there, you have to have faith that it will be.
I don’t crumple it up and throw it away.
That would be bad. That would be denial. Denial is bad. You have to be like, “I got this.” That’s the other piece. I’m glad you said that, Kevin. If you do not take responsibility for your money, you can’t live in la-la land. You cannot live in dreamville where you go, “It will all be okay.” It isn’t. You are not paying attention. It gets worse. You can’t do that.
Ignore it. It goes away.
Sadly, it doesn’t. You have to take responsibility for your money. That means you have to know exactly how much money you owe, how much money you have, and how much money is coming and going to the best of your ability. When you are running a business, you don’t always know the answer. To the best of your ability, you have to know what those numbers are and be on top of them. You cannot hide from it because the universe is not going to give you more of something that you are already handling badly.
That would make sense.
- Harv Eker, at his Millionaire Mind seminar, used to tell a story, which I loved. He said, “Imagine that your money is a single scoop ice cream cone, and you are a little kid. Your parent universe has given you a single scoop of ice cream cone. You spill that ice cream cone onto the floor and ask for a triple scoop.” The parent looks at you and goes, “How about you manage a single scoop? When you can do that, we will give you a double. When you can do that, we will give you a triple. Let’s let you learn one scoop at a time because it’s easier.” I thought it was a brilliant metaphor.
Ice cream was the topic of conversation. I have to go roll with that.
Was there a flavor?
No. It was the fact that we didn’t have any in the house.
That’s a travesty. That was wrong. That’s blasphemous. The idea is that you have to be responsible for your money. I did not start getting more money in my life until I went back. I had four years of back taxes that I hadn’t done. Until I went back, did all four years of back taxes, got up to speed, got my payment plan in place for the IRS, and did the whole thing, my money didn’t free up until after that. It also didn’t free up until after my father passed. The only way he could love me was to give me money. He only gave me money if I was in desperate need. The only way I could get my father’s love was to keep myself poor.
You are manifesting it yourself to stay down.
For many years, I looked at my friends and said, “When the queen of manifestation doesn’t have enough money to pay rent, there’s something seriously wrong.” I couldn’t figure it out. It took me a long time to figure it out.
It’s because everything works out for you.
If you’re stingy in your outflow, you will be stingy in your inflow. If you’re a cheapskate, you will not get as much money as you could.
I do manifest very effectively. I always have. I spent my childhood saying, “I live a charmed life.” If you believe that and say it often enough, it makes it true.
That explains a lot.
Did my life suck in other ways? My life sucked in other ways. We were moving every year or two. I’ve never kept my friends afterward. It was only mom and me. I had to make new friends all the time. There was a lot that sucked but that’s not what I focus on. What you focus on expands.
As long as we feel the money, we take the responsibility for the money. That’s it. We are good there.
You can’t panic. You have to be open to it, which means you must be open to receiving. If you are not open to receiving, then new money can’t come in. This is particularly true with business owners. You’ve got to be careful what you ask for. If you say, “I want more money,” you can have a penny, and now you’ve got more. You must be specific, “I want at least X amount more money.”
The number one thing in goal setting is to be specific.
You’ve got to say that and be open to receiving. You’ve got to not have the crap in the way as I had with my dad. You can’t be stingy. If you are stingy in your outflow, you will be stingy in your inflow. If you are a cheapskate, then you will not get as much money as you could have otherwise.
There’s no Scrooge McDuck.
You need to be very careful. When I say stingy, I specifically mean stingy with yourself more than anyone else. I see your face. You are like, “Fuck.” We are good at being generous with other people but we are stingy as crap with ourselves.
Am I supposed to buy stuff for myself?
Go get it because you want it.
We are back to that crazy thing.
Sometimes you are allowed to have what you want. It’s a simple concept.
I have to try that one out.
That’s the personal side. The last one is about getting into the flow. That’s specifically finding the flow because the money in your life comes and goes. Some of it, we eddy off to the side in the form of savings accounts and investments. Money flows in and out because that’s the way of things. It’s energy. Money is nothing but energy. It is an amplifier of energy. This is a T. Harv Eker quote, “It makes you more of who you already were.”
It’s not the root of all evil.
The actual quote is, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” I’m not sure that I agree with that either because we have such a contentious relationship with money. If you don’t have it, you are angry at the people who have it. You are angry at money itself for not being there for you. You have this relationship with money that is belligerent. You are like, “Fuck you. I deserve you. Why aren’t you here for me?” If you were money, would you want to be anywhere near you? I don’t think so.
You can’t demand it.
You’ve got to stop being angry at money. Money has nothing to do with it. It’s energy like anything else. If you are angry at it, you are going to deflect it and push it away. You have to find a way to come into a relationship with money. That means that you need to sit down, find a quiet space, and bring the goddess of money up to you. Sit down, have a conversation with her, talk to her, and find a way to be in a relationship because that’s how you bring money into your life.
You have to open up to it. These are all things that will help you toward that path. From a business owner’s perspective with money, you’ve got to be careful that you are not asking for validation instead of money. You can have validation or money but you can’t have both. They will only pay you in one or the other. If you want half-validation, then you will pay half-price. This is the point. You want to make sure that what you are doing is asking.
You need to make sure that you know what you are delivering is worth every penny of what you are delivering. You will get paid what you are worth. The biggest mistake that I see first-time entrepreneurs make is that they get all bound up, “Can I charge this much?” Especially if it’s an hourly rate that’s rather high. What they don’t realize is that a high hourly rate is also accounting for all the time that you are spending doing marketing, advertising, sales calls, and all the stuff that you don’t get paid for.
I have changed the pricing on my website probably five times already. I’ve gone from high to incredibly stupid low, saying, “This will bring customers in.” I’m like, “That’s not what I want to do.” I kept changing it. Finally, I settled on a price and said, “That’s how much my time is worth. That’s what I’m going to go with.”
Let’s talk about that.
I said something wrong.
No. You may be right. I don’t know until we go through the exercise. I want you to think about every bit of training you’ve ever done, how much you paid for that training, and how much time you spent in those training. I want you to realize that every time somebody hires you, they are leveraging every bit of that training that they don’t have to take and the time that they don’t have to spend to get the shortcut answer. That’s what they are paying you for. Tell me. Is your hourly rate the right amount?
After further consideration, I may or may not need to change that.
Most people undervalue what they have to offer, especially those who have been through challenging childhoods or situations. When you do that, you take less than your worth.
The thing is that most people undervalue what they have to offer, especially people who have been through challenging childhoods and situations. We undervalue ourselves. When you do that, you take less than you are worth, charge less than you are worth, and underachieve because you don’t expect as much of yourself. The other thing is that we also try to charge by the hour when what we should be charging for is the outcome. Think about it. If you are going to pay for something, do you want to pay someone for their time and not know what you are going to get necessarily out of it? Do you want to pay for an outcome? Which would you pay more for?
I would pay a lot more for an outcome.
The other piece is that you have to recognize that results pay. This is true whether you are working a job or having a business. You can say, “Boss, I provided XYZ results, which resulted in the company making XYZ more money. You should give me a raise because I brought this much more in because of this thing that I did.”
They always give you a raise when you do that too. It works every time.
It doesn’t work every time but it’s a way that could work as opposed to, “Can I have a raise with no backup?” Everybody and their brother should be going to their bosses and saying, “I need a cost of living raise because of the inflation.” Everyone should be getting cost of living raises. If you are not, then you should be talking to your bosses about that. Every year, you should get a cost-of-living increase because inflation goes up every year.
If you don’t, you are making less money this year than you did last year for more experience. With the Great Resignation, there are many opportunities to go somewhere else. I have had several of my clients do that. They have all made a lot more money. Be prepared that maybe a job search might be a good idea if you are out there doing that. One of the other things about valuing yourself is that when you value yourself, you can recognize, “I’m worth more than what this dude or chick is paying me.”
Find your worth.
As you are thinking about putting together a business, you want to think about putting together an outcome. What is the outcome that you provide? What is the thing that you do better than anyone else? Who do you do it for?
That’s wide open. It changes a lot of things. I’m sure a lot of people in my position are starting, especially with so much being on the internet and less face-to-face. It changes everything.
The more you can speak to a specific audience and do something specific for someone specific, the more you can charge.
The problem that I have been running into is looking for my specific person. I want to help everybody.
I could help everybody too. Everybody could read my blog and get something out of it if they had anything remotely like a challenging childhood. That’s about 80% of the population of the US. I don’t have time for that, nor does everybody have time to read this. The thing that I want you to recognize is that the more you niche down and get clear about who you are serving, the better off you are.
You said something very early on. If you think about the people who need you the most, you were a firefighter and an EMT. They need you more than anybody else. They are the ones who have the most trauma and pain. They are the ones who never fucking talk about it. Only somebody who has been there is qualified to talk to them. They can’t hire any life coach and have them understand what’s going on. That makes you more valuable in that world because it is a unique perspective on life. People who work in those fields have experiences no one else has.
It’s hard to find people to talk to them. Even when I was full-time, the calls weren’t generally talked about. We had some that were very horrific that were talked about. They would bring people in but that was far and few between. It wasn’t the small things that added up to big things when not dealt with.
That’s a niche that you could very handily fill.
That is going to be something I’m going to have to research even more. I end up with homework.
These are the things. If you want to open to money in the best way possible, you have to see your value in the biggest way possible and where you are most valuable. There’s a thing going around on TikTok. A father gives his daughter an old car for her birthday and says, “Go take it down to the local used car dealership and find out how much they will give you for it.” She comes back and says, “They said they would give me $10,000.” He says, “Take it to the local pawn shop and see what they will give you for it.”
She comes back and says, “They said they would give me $1,000.” He said, “Take it down to this car show over here and find out how much they will give you for it.” She says, “They said they would give me $100,000 for it.” He said, “It’s because that’s what it’s worth.” She’s like, “Why did you have me go to these other two places if you knew they were going to tell me that I shouldn’t buy it? You knew they were going to give prices that were irrelevant.” He said, “It’s because I want you to recognize that when you go places where they do not see your value, you will never get what you are worth.”
You need to be able to see your value before you can identify the places where you can find that value, and they will see that value as well. You have to spend the time finding your value. Only then will you find others who can value you in return. That is true whether we are talking about money, love, respect or any of these things. You must first find it within yourself. You will find it in others because we ultimately teach other people how to treat us.
Love, money, and everything are tied together.
This would be the moment when we talk about inner peace because Interviews 101 teaches you how to find your value, starts you on the road to find your value, and gets you ready to do the work that will help you to find your value. If you are not having enough money, love, respect or anything in your life, it is because you need to find it inside of you first. The way you do that is by first finding enough emotional safety to clear the decks to be able to do the work.
You are spending your entire day going, “I suck. Something is going to come flying up my face in the next five minutes. I’m so angry at this person. I’m going to have an argument in my head with them for the next six days until I die. I feel like I’ve had the argument but I’m never going to say it to them that they are supposed to know.” Trust me. I know these thoughts. I had them and lived with them for many years.
They take up the entirety of your consciousness. If that is taking up the entirety of your consciousness, you have no room to grow. That’s what Inner Peace 101 does. It shuts that shit down, changes the way you see everything, and cuts your stress levels in half at least in four months. You will not recognize yourself when you get done. It’s amazing.
Where would this Inner Peace 101 be?
It is on the homepage of my website at KelleSparta.com.
You made it easy to find because it’s important.
Stop trying so hard to be wealthy. Instead, relax into the fact that you already are.
It is the very first step in the healing process. When you can do that, then you can start to work on the things that help you to see your value but you are not going to be able to do it until you can clear the decks and find that sense of emotional safety. People talk about their comfort zone. Your comfort zone isn’t the place where you are comfortable. It is the place that you are used to. It is usually very uncomfortable. It’s the discomfort level you are used to.
“This is what I know. I’m going to hang out here. I don’t like it much but it will do for now.”
It’s better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. The problem is that the devil you know takes up all your bandwidth and leaves you no room for anything else. The good news is if you can clear the decks and some of that bandwidth, you are going to be a badass when it comes to doing personal growth work because you are used to being uncomfortable. You know how to do that. You have a level of comfort with discomfort. If you can get the cruft out of the way, you can shine.
It all starts with Inner Peace 101. The next thing you know, you are feeling the money, responsible, doing good, and happy.
That covers it.
The only thing we are missing is a Kelleism. I need to have something to sleep on.
Stop trying so hard to be wealthy and instead relax into the fact that you already are.
That summed up everything right there. That’s why you make the big bucks.
Do you want to give us a website?
That’s all we have. Join us next time as I add another episode to your guide to energy magic and the spirit world. So long, everyone.
- An ER Doctor on triaging your “crazy busy” life – TEDx Talk
- Millionaire Mind
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