I’ve had this conversation with too many people in the last week. I need to put this out there. If you’re wondering why you’re depressed, angry, anxious, and exhausted all the time right now, this is your answer – short and sweet.
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Releasing Stuck Trauma – Why You’re Depressed, Angry, And Exhausted All The Time
This is going to be a bonus episode of the show. I am calling it a bonus because Joey is not here. It is just me. I have been having this conversation with people all day, and I did not want to wait for the next episode we were recording to put this out. There has been a level of exhaustion that has been building. It is accompanied by depression, angst, anxiety, upset, and anger.
People are reporting having no energy to do anything and experiencing emotions that they have not experienced in 15 or 20 years. They are a person they have not been in a decade. I want to mention that this is not just you if you are having this experience. It is a lot of people and it is happening all over the globe.
I just got off the phone with somebody in India who is having similar experiences. I am in the US, so I cannot get too much further apart than that as I have found the time because I had to take a lot of downtimes. I am only addressing this now because I have had to take enough downtime to be able to process my stuff to recognize what was going on.
Now that I have identified it, I want to share it with you and make you aware that that is what is going on. What is happening is that for those of us, the last years have triggered all of the trauma that was stuck in our bodies. That trauma is surfacing now because you cannot process trauma while you are in trauma.
Releasing Stuck Trauma: Don’t take on anything new. If you have to get away too far and it takes too much energy to figure out how to do it, don’t do it.
Now that we are coming out of quarantine, we are starting to process the trauma, and with it is coming all of the trauma from our childhood, bad relationships, and everything that we have experienced. We are a hair-trigger, on the floor because we got zero energy, or super depressed because we feel like we are never going to get out of it.
I watched somebody on TikTok who was saying that he felt like he was just in a miserable place and was never going to get out of it. I want you to know that if this is you, this is temporary. This is past stuff from our entire lives coming up to the surface to be expelled. The thing I will say to you is, please be kind to one another and to yourself.
If you have anger coming up, find ways to let it go that are not at your loved ones or the people around you. Beat on rocks with sticks, take a kickboxing class, go for a run, go for a walk, and get your heart rate up. When you have anger, your adrenaline is running and your body needs a way to dissipate that. Physical activity is how you do that.
Go into your car, scream, and beat on your steering wheel or whatever it is that you need to do to let it go. The second thing is to take a lot of downtime. You are going to find that you are running out of energy all the time because your body is exhausted from having held this trauma for all this time. I do not care if you are usually a super energetic person.
Releasing Stuck Trauma: Acknowledge that you have emotions coming up and let them be. Give yourself space to be still, and allow yourself space to blink as you come out of your cocoon of the quarantine.
I am that person. I usually get more done in a day than most people get done in a week, and I found managing my assistant to be exhausting. All I was doing was telling her what to do, not doing it myself. You need to understand that your body is tired. Holding trauma is a lot of work. Sleep a lot more, do a lot less, expect less of yourself, and do not take on anything new unless it is getting away with doing nothing. Even then, if you have to get away too far and it takes too much energy to figure out how to do it, don’t do it. I am just saying that at this point, there is a desperate need for you to be able to give yourself space to process all of this.
If you are finding that you do not have that experience, but instead, you are pulling in and shutting down because that is what you did or your trauma response in childhood, then that will be your trauma response now. Whatever your trauma response was in childhood is what it is going to be now. Give yourself space to get still, get clear, do nothing, and be okay with not getting anything done.
It is okay. I want to give you absolute permission for you and everyone around you to do fuck all for the next little bit because that is what you need to do, nothing. That is helpful for making mental space. Do this until you feel like you want to do something and then do nothing for a while longer. Do nothing until you can’t do anything anymore, until you cannot be still for even a minute longer.
When you get up to do something, do 1, maybe 2 things, and then do nothing again. This is going to be a process. Think of it as a convalescence. If you had broken your leg, you would be still for a long time and then you would be like, “I cannot be still anymore. I have got to get up.” You would then walk a little bit on the crutches, get tired, and lay back down again. It’s the same thing. Only it is emotional.
We often think that emotions do not count, but they are more significant than physical impairments because physical impairments, other people can see. We can see and validate our feelings about them by seeing them. Emotions we do not see, so we do not give ourselves credit for that. I am going to encourage you to take the time, acknowledge that you have emotions that are coming up, and let them be. Give yourself space to be still and blink as you come out of your cocoon of the quarantine.
That is my gift to you with love. I hope you all are doing okay. If you are finding yourself at the edge, please reach out to Suicide Hotline, and they will help you. I promise. I know that therapy is hard to come by right now. Please reach out to each other and provide what support you can. If you do not have the spoons, please be honest about it because there is nothing worse than reaching out to somebody and finally getting somebody to say yes, and then having the person not be available. Be clear if you do not have the bandwidth to hold space for somebody and take care of yourselves. Love you.
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