This week a housemate I have lived with for 6 years moved out. When he moved in, we were dating. We broke up about half-way through our time together and have lived with each other, sometimes easily, sometimes not, for the remainder of the time. It was time for us to part ways. I’m getting married and our lives have drifted apart. And it is an ending. Then my other housemate who I have lived with for 9 years announced that he was moving out too. While our lives have not intersected much, there has been caring there and I will miss him.
To Move Or Not To Move, That Was The Question
In the process of all of this moving energy, I had thought to move out too. The landlord keeps raising the rent but doing not much in terms of making the place more habitable and it impossible to work with at times. And so I had been packing and choosing what not to pack. And I have a huge pile built up for the yard sale. And then we decided that getting married, attending Jeff’s sister’s wedding out of state, and moving was too much to do in one month (go figure), and so the only thing that could be changed was the move. And so we are staying. But in the process of unpacking all that had been packed, I have added even more to the yard sale pile. And I am in the mood to shed as much as possible. Get it out!
Letting Go Of The Past
The shedding is a shedding of the past. I am letting go of things I kept when my mom died, realizing that I kept them because I felt I should have more of her things, not because I actually wanted them. I am shedding things that I picked up because I needed them for one thing and now that thing is gone. I am shedding things that others gave me when they were moving that I thought I would use – and have – but only a few times in a decade and therefore, I don’t really need them. I am cleaning out my “small pants” and my dress clothes that I haven’t worn in 5 years because they are out of style and damn it, if I need clothes, I will go and buy some.
Letting Go Of Lack Mentality
I am by no means a hoarder, having grown up in the military and moving every year or two, I’m pretty good about letting things go. But I’m realizing that there’s a lack mentality that goes with all of this holding on that says “I might need this later – and I don’t want to have to spend the money on it then”. This implies that I won’t have any money then, and that’s just not true. So rather than hold on to it, I’m letting it go.
Letting Go Of The Surplus – I Will Find It Later When I Need It
I’ve also been whittling down my supply of shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste, soap, etc. that I bought when it was on sale and I had coupons (I LOVE to save). I don’t need to have 15 of anything stocked in my closet. I stopped buying these things 6 months ago and I still have enough to last me through next year. And I don’t like the clutter and what it says about being afraid of the future. (Something that I wasn’t even aware I was saying to myself when I bought them.)
Room To Allow New Things In
And with all of this letting go of people and stuff, there is suddenly room – in my house and in my personal space. Which turns out to be a good thing since Kathy (my business partner in Tesseract Transformation) also received news that her housemate was moving out. She had been talking about leaving San Francisco for a while, but this had not been her optimal timing. Except that it was for spirit’s plan which was to get her to move to Boston, where she said she didn’t want to live (she hates the snow), but which it turns out is exactly the perfect landing place for her in this moment. So she is landing with us in September, taking over the room of the man who has lived with me for 9 years. So there will still be a familiar presence in the house. And the house will change dramatically. With two shamans on premises, I think it should be interesting for my honey and whomever takes the other room.
Redecorating = Marking The Change
And so I am reflecting these changes in my space by buying new curtains and rearranging the decorations and some of the rooms. I’m buying new organizational items and replacing kitchenware that has gotten sparse as people leave.
The End of an Era
I’m excited about the changes and I’m happy to let go of the past. And I’m aware that an era has ended. I am marking it’s passing as I am welcoming in the new.
I’m seeing several of my friends on Facebook today, talking about this happening in their lives too. Are you experiencing this as well? Tell me about it below.