4 Stages of Personal Growth – Which Are You In?

Let’s Look at Where You Are Now

Before you could enter the process of personal growth, you had to come into consciousness enough to notice and admit to yourself that you weren’t happy with your current life.  Your goal was to get away from the pain you were experiencing and find a way to be happy.  So you began your search.

That brought you to:

Stage 1

Discovering the personal growth world and starting to ask yourself “does this stuff really work?”

You weren’t sure if this stuff was complete bunk and the teachers were just nut jobs (I mean, let’s face it, some of them are really odd), but you were desperate for change, so you took a chance.

The key to transcending this stage is:

Being willing to suspend your disbelief and consider that there might be more to the world than your limited perspective.

You suspended your disbelief and you bought into the programs to see what was there.  And to your great surprise, you learned that this stuff DOES work!  But you still had doubts – perhaps you were engaging in wishful thinking, maybe you had been brainwashed or duped into believing – magick doesn’t really work does it?  But your inner child was bouncing up and down yelling “yes it does! yes it does!  See I TOLD you!”

This decision is usually based on:

Engaging in the hope that the pain you’re experiencing might be able to be literally magickally whisked away.


Stage 2Four college chatting in a coffee shop

This is the proof and proselytizing stage where you finally say “holy crap, this stuff really DOES work, I must tell everyone I know so that they can see it works too (so I know and they know I’m not crazy for believing in it)”  

And so you set out to get social proof that you weren’t crazy for believing in this stuff.  Either you dragged all of your friends out to classes with you, or, if you were really concerned about your public image, you started making friends who were already in the classes.  If more than a few people believe, then it must be OK and you must not be crazy for believing too, right?

The key to transcending this phase is:

Getting comfortable with your new set of beliefs and realizing that the uninitiated might think you’re crazy but it’s their loss.

Over time, you got comfortable with your new belief set.  You may or may not have shared it with your old friends, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not fully committed to your beliefs.  It just means that you’re not sure how ready your friends are to allow their beliefs to shift.  (Usually the more people have to lose, the more committed they are to their existing beliefs.)

This decision is usually based in:

The excitement of finally having something to be excited about again. But it should be noted that if you chose to share this information with your friends, then that creates the jumping off point for the first of many ego deaths that must occur for enlightenment to happen. It is the first stage of the death of worrying about what other people think of you.


19182403Stage 3

This is the teach to learn stage where you have learned some of the energetic elements of the work and are now seeking the magickal key to enlightenment. While you search, you teach the magickal pieces you’ve learned to others in the hopes that a question they ask or someone they mention or other teachers you meet (who will now respect you because you’re a teacher too) will have the key you seek.

You may have started teaching classes or you might be sharing what you’ve learned with friends or you might be leading a study group with other spiritual seekers, whatever route you’ve taken, you’re stepping into leadership.  But with that role comes this nagging fear that you’ll be discovered to be a fraud because you know that you don’t really have a grip on all of this stuff.  Sure, you’re qualified to teach what you’re teaching – you know that – but you don’t know how it FITS into the big picture.  What if someone asks you a question you can’t answer?

The key to transcending this phase is:

Realizing that you weren’t right about there being a magickal key and that the true path to enlightenment is encountered when you admit that you also may not be right about your beliefs about how the world works, what your history is, and who you are. You become willing to consider that perhaps those things are being impacted by your filters and stories and it may be time to start questioning those.

You’re probably sitting right here – at the point where you have to make a choice:  surrender your closely held beliefs about yourself and the world, or stay where you are and get stuck feeling the way you’re feeling now.  Surrender is one of the hardest lessons.  It is hard to see where you need to do it, and hard to let go in faith that it will all work out.  Especially if you tend to be someone who fights for what they believe in.

This decision is usually based in:

Frustration and angst that you haven’t found the path and that no one seems to be offering it to you. (Not actually true in most cases, they just aren’t offering you what you think you’re looking for.)


MeditatingStage 4

This is the retreat for personal reflection and study phase where you step back from teaching (or teaching as much) and really begin to look at yourself. In this stage you’re questioning everything and trying to get a grip on what is real and what isn’t.  When you can identify what is real, then you can begin to build intentionally upon that foundation.

If you want to get unstuck in your personal journey, this is the stage you want to get to.


The goal of my work is to take you from Stage 3 to Stage 4

If you are struggling to get from Stage 3 to Stage 4, I can help.  Contact me for more information.



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