“Safe” Isn’t Sexy or Trustworthy
So many of the men that occupy the world of the “more evolved male” are really attached to being “safe space” for the women in their lives. And I can respect that. I can see that there is value to having a safe masculine presence in the room.
But as a powerful woman, I have to say:
I have never really trusted those “safe” men.
Instead, I’ve placed my faith in those men who I knew might hurt me in the process of speaking their truths, but I knew they would always speak their truths anyway. And that’s what made me trust them. You see, when a man isn’t attached to being “safe space”, he’ll tell you his desires, even if they are a little out of the box or not-P.C. He’ll let you know that he’s attracted to another woman even if it makes you scared that you might lose him. He’ll give you a reality check you when you’ve gone completely off the rails. This is someone I can respect, someone I know won’t surprise me with something he’s been keeping a secret to avoid “hurting” me.
You Can’t Have My Back If You Don’t Have Your Power
These other men also know their own power because they’ve explored it, engaged it, embraced it. And when they know their power, I know I can trust them to have my back. I don’t need a man to protect me from himself, which is what these “safe” men are doing. I’ve made a good choice in who I associate with – I don’t need protecting. If I find you unacceptable, I know where the door is. What I DO need is a man who will have my back when the world gets me down. And that’s a man who knows his own power.
You’re Courting a Goddess But You’re Treating Me Like a Damsel In Distress
I’ve found my own power, I’m not a delicate thing that could break at any moment. That’s why you’re attracted to me – I don’t remind you of all the victims/damsels in distress that have made you feel bad about yourself for being a man. And yet, you’re still treating me as though I am one of those women. I’m not going to break if you give me a hard truth. I’m not going to fall apart if I have to support you through a tough challenge. In fact, I LOVE doing that. But instead you treat me like a potential victim – and it just pisses me off. It pisses me off that you don’t see my strength. It pisses me off that you think you could break me. It pisses me off that you’re pretending that I don’t have the power that I clearly hold in my hands right now.
But I Get It
I get that you’ve been trained to see women this way. It’s a stereotype that I’ve had to break for myself over and over again. I get that your concern comes out of love and not out of a desire to take my power from me. I get that you are afraid of your maleness and what it might do. I get that your power feels dangerous to you – it felt that way to me too when I first picked it up. And that’s because it is dangerous.
Power Is Dangerous… And Sexy
Your power, your wild animal self (not the same thing but one lets you access the other) is a dangerous creature. Without a heart-connection to temper it, it can do great damage (and sometimes even with the heart connection it can do damage). But what is life worth if we don’t take a risk together? Why bother living if we are going to work for nothing better than safety? I want to see where you can take me when we merge our powers, our intent, our souls. I want to know who we are together. Bring your full self to me. Bring me to the edge of oblivion and take me over into the abyss. I will hold you tight and bring us back. But to do this, we must both know ourselves and be willing to surrender to the ecstasy.
I know that what I offer scares you. It has scared many men before you. But you have the potential to withstand the fear and come out the other side stronger and better for the experience. I need you in your power so that you can hold me in mine. It won’t be safe. Sometimes it won’t be pretty. But it will be intense and intimate and connected and… Divine.