As the universe catches up with me because of my shortening the walkabout, I am also having to finish the journey of processing in the allotted time. I’ve been hit with a whole plethora of issues to address in the last few days. Have to get through them.
I did some inner child work on the way from Cincinnati to Bloomington; integrating a part of myself that has been locked away for years. That raw, scrubbed out feeling in my heart abated some with that process.
Then today I did some major work with Daniel (Bloomington), and went through the process of actually forgiving a bunch of people in my past. Not the least of which was my father, but there were others too. Still have work to do on my issues around women (mom in particular), but I’m seeing her tomorrow, so I’ll have plenty of opportunity. (Update 2013 – Mom passed away in 2010. The year before I visited with her and finally got the “a-ha” that I needed to understand who she was and why she was the person she was. I managed to put to bed a lot of the issues there (I won’t say “all” because you never know when another level will open up to meet you). Once I got through being angry with Mom, I had to process being angry with the universe – and myself. It was a lot of work. Don’t let anyone tell you that you need to “forgive” before you’ve had a chance to feel and acknowledge your anger. You have to release one before you can embrace the other.)
Huge amounts of processing, huge amounts of growth. I tested the boundaries of my spirit today, pushed out as far as I could go, hit the edge and stopped in fear. Waited there for a moment and expanded again, much larger than before. Finished the release work and went even further, this time I didn’t find an outer limit.
I’m beginning to see the web that connects everything if I think to look. I can see what is there, what is fading, and what is yet to come. Even the connections between things. It’s an interesting process.
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.