No wonder I needed to move the section on Boundaries to the second book. I haven’t adequately addressed it in my own life. I kind of realized that when I was writing it, since I was unhappy with the way it came out. I’ll have to rewrite it when I get through all this stuff.
Spent much of the afternoon talking with Keter about my issues around the stuff with Daniel and friends and about my issues around finding work/home/income when I finish this journey.
I expect for my walkabout to be complete when I return in a week or so. I’ll be heading out for the month of January, but that is due to the need for me to allow the universe to catch up to my plans. Sometimes it’s necessary to give catch-up time when you change your plans abruptly.
BACK TO THE ORIGINAL TOPIC
Boundaries. It seems that I suck at them. I’m finding masochistic tendencies that I didn’t fully realize existed. No wonder my mother’s martyrdom drives me crazy, it’s just a mirror. I should know this stuff, but it still tags me every time. Sigh. So I’m needing to put some new boundaries in place about what I want to know, what I want to participate in, and where I want to go/not go and give myself permission to enforce them.
In the past, when I was confused I would just go along with whatever the other person wanted. I’m going to change that to a default of not going along. If in doubt or confused – say no! That should go a long way towards helping.
I’ve worried in the past that if I set boundaries that got in other people’s ways that they wouldn’t like me. But I’m realizing that I’m a person too and if I don’t set these boundaries, then I don’t like me. That impacts me far more than someone else being inconvenienced. I have been learning to love myself as a function of this process. I have to learn to respect myself too. Boundaries are the key to expressing that respect.
We also had conversation on some higher levels of manifestation. Backing things up to what you really want as opposed to what you think will get you there. I’ve been working on this premise for a while (thanks to Ken), but I got a few more pieces of the puzzle to refine the ideas yesterday. So I’m doing some manifesting in the areas of home and job and right livelihood.
I’m a little fried today and a little frazzled. Feeling vulnerable and raw, but it’s a good thing. Still have to figure out what Keter did. She claims that all she did was listen on multiple levels and ask questions, but others have done this before and I haven’t had this big of a response. Perhaps she is unaware of her technique. Perhaps I was just more available for the work and so it went deeper and faster than ever before. Not sure on that one. Only time will tell.
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.