Have I mentioned recently how much I hate drama? I’ve just spent the last 10-15 minutes trying to figure out how to do a customized friends list so that I could post this without ruffling any more feathers only to find the point is moot, because the person in question and another person who it seems has allied with her have both removed me from their friends lists. The drama continues.
I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that I am sick and tired of being cast as the villain in the lives of these women who seem to think that I am the man-stealer from hell. It’s as though they assume that I intended to meet him and steal him away from the moment I showed up! In fact, I showed up thinking that he was taken. I was informed that because he was poly he was available. I was interested and so was he, so we pursued the relationship. It is amazing and wonderful and everything I’ve been looking for in a relationship (sans drama) for a long time. It has deepened as a natural course. And yet, here I sit, the vampire bitch from hell who stole their man. Crap. This sucks. I can understand that they are feeling his energy pulling away and that this worries them. I can understand that I am the natural person to focus that stress and upset on. It really wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t for the fact that he lives with the one with the current drama going on around me.
And now I am facing going into his house and having to deal with the tenseness. I am not looking forward to it. I’ve always hated politics and drama (mostly the same thing when viewed energetically actually). This is one of the main reasons I have avoided poly. It’s really bumming me out that this is going to mar my visit with him. I wanted to just have some “us” time to see what this is, not bring someone else’s energy into everything we do because it might upset her. Our relationship isn’t about her.
COMPLETE MOOD SHIFT
On the other hand, there is Daniel, who is turning out to be better than I had ever expected. He is funny and sensitive and honest and open and communicative and yummy. He is a novice energetically, but he has great natural talent and a lot of aptitude already. I can feel his energy and he can feel mine. There is a connectedness on a level I haven’t felt in years. We’ve talked on the phone several hours everyday for the last week and I still haven’t found anything that worries me (other than the aforementioned drama) – and believe me, I’ve been looking. The wonders of having been divorced is that I really take a grounded, sometimes cynical view of the world around me, so it is not likely that I’ll be swept away (that’s how I ended up married in the first place). I am looking forward to seeing him. We are planning to use Ludwig’s cabin in Maine to get away for a little alone time. Given how things are panning out at home, this turns out to be a really good idea. Woo hoo for advance planning and psychic ability. And this is why I still hang in there, even in the midst of all this drama. I am hoping that it is temporary. And what will be left when the drama is dispatched is too good to let go of.
For all of you out there who would like to meet this mystery man, I am bringing him to the Yule party at John Gumby’s house on the 21st. You can meet him there. We’ll get there sometime after 6pm for the Yule Celebration.
(Update 2013 – After reading the post about Love not being hard a few days ago, I find this “I really take a grounded, sometimes cynical view of the world” quote to be a bit jarring. Clearly, I was still vacillating back and forth between the old Kelle ways of thinking and the new Kelle ones. This tends to happen when you are adopting a new mindset. Occasionally, you forget to use it – especially when under stress and believe me, I was under stress at this time. In recent years, I have been more and more present with the idea of balancing the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine and this flip flop of separateness and logic with love and acceptance seems to have been the seed of that exploration.
I want to take a moment to thank you, dear reader. for reading this journey. Without knowing that others were going to be reading this and expecting me to make comments as I go, I would never have gone back and reviewed this journey. And it has been insightful for me. It’s good for me to see the person I was and to see how long I have been on this path. I couldn’t have done it without you.)
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.
