Well, I am back in contact range again. I have been without cell phone or email access for several days and it was wonderful. I spent the weekend in Vermont on this wonderful property with lots of trees and a great brook and everything. I made some good connections with people and I think I’m going to head back up again sometime next week to do some work with one of the people there.
On another note: I am doing my work on this figuring out who I am thing. Seems kind of funny for me to be doing this given that I am a very strong personality and one would think that I had a very good idea of who I am, but the more I look at it, the more it blows me away.
Anyway, one of the things I’ve been looking at are the repeating patterns around me. For several years I was surrounded by shamans, but insisted that I was a witch. Now that I’m on my own, I find myself doing the shaman thing. (Update 2013 – Little did I know that this spiritual journey WAS my shamanic initiation. It’s pretty funny really.) I was also surrounded by writers, but I decided I wasn’t going to do that either. Now what I am I doing? Writing. Right.
So I’m trying a different approach. See what I’m surrounded by and consider that it might be because it is a reflection of me. So, I look and what do I find? Lots of polyamorous people. Damn. That sucks. Especially since I’ve said for years that poly is nothing more than a recipe for drama. Seems I may have to eat those words. I’ve been talking to a bunch of poly people about their definitions of relationships and they really do tend to fall right in line with my own. Fuck. Sigh. Nothing like being wrong – again. At least I’m getting used to it. Plus, there’s so many tire marks on my head these days, that it’s really hard to tell when new ones arise, so that’s not so bad. 😉
The other pattern has been the issue of pagan community. I’ve been really looking into that one especially since so many of the people I’ve met along the way are interested in it. Who knows. Maybe I’ll get a community together and invite people to come along for the ride. Then they can all meet each other. It could happen. (Don’t count on it though – I’m still too clueless about what I want to really make any commitments on this level. But I have the plans in my head in case anyone wants them for themselves. I live to make things work.) (Update 2013 – This statement seems to be some serious progress compared the girl a few months before who wanted to take everyone on the journey with her. I can see the shifts even within this short period of time. I don’t know if I was aware of this back then, but it’s pretty impressive to look back on now. If this were one of my clients now, I’d be jumping up and down in excitement. I have to admit, I’m doing a bit of that even now – even knowing it was so long ago.)
I have a couple of people trying to locate free laptops for me. That could be very good. An old laptop is all I need. Plus, I called Mom today and it seems she hasn’t banked the timeshare for this year, so I’m calling tomorrow to see if I can get a week in for this year. It’s Steamboat Springs, CO. Yay skiing and quiet time. We’ll see how the reservations look. Perhaps I’ll get my books written after all.
Speaking of which, I’ve been hit on the head with another book idea. So now that four total that are screaming to be written. Thankfully, book 3 in the series is not yelling loudly, so that’s just three vying for space in my already overtaxed brain. Must…find…time…and…computer….
Manifestations seem to be going very well and I found that I really have to be careful what I think about. I am creating things at a speed that wigs me out.
Well, that’s it. It’s a long update, but that’s what happens when I’m out of touch for four days. And sadly, this only scratches the surface of what’s going on in my head.
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.