The more I think about the things I have been told recently and the reactions I’ve been having, the more I realize that I really am swayed significantly by other people’s feelings and opinions of me. Part of this spiritual journey was for me to set some better boundaries and stop worrying about other people’s judgement. I feel like I’ve gotten to a healthy place on that, but now I’m looking at how much I let other people’s expectations rule my life. To the point where I really am not sure what I want anymore. My boundaries suck.
Thankfully, the working I did on Saturday was such that I wasn’t specific about my requests. I asked for the things that would make me happy in various areas of my life. I haven’t the foggiest idea of what those would be at this point since every time I turn around, I change my mind. But I trust that spirit knows better than I do and will arrange it for me.
I bought myself a birthday present of The Fairy Oracle deck. The first card I pulled was The Fairy Godmother, the bringer of great gifts, so I’m looking forward to those gifts.
So I’m sitting here trying to figure out what I want in life. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ve got some help, Suzie is hitting me upside the head from time to time. So I’m getting a clearer picture of what’s going on.
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.