Wow, where to begin. Spent the night at Ken’s house and forgot (for the second time) to get my passport signed. Damn. Anyway, I have a good excuse, he kicked my ass, as usual. I’ve been processing heavily for a while about pieces of myself that are ready to go. Things to let go of at Sawain. Here’s the final cut.
Release #1
The need to be someone different based on each situation. I’m throwing away the hats I wear, the personas that I put on to make people like me. I’m going to assume that I’m good enough as I am. Big step for the woman who only recently gave up believing that everyone would hate me as soon as they had enough distance from me to get a real idea of who I was.
Release #2
Saving the world. It is not my job. It is not my responsibility.
Release #3
Being emotionally unavailable. Perhaps this will help with my incessant habit of picking men who are equally unavailable. Ya think?
So, those are the big three for this year’s Sawain release ritual. I’m hoping that the circle is planning something that will allow me to do this work. If not, I’m sure I can arrange something with Jeff and Suzie that would be appropriate. Anyway. I’m in massive flux right now trying to figure out what I want to do with my life when I finish this walkabout, but it is progressing and that’s progress in itself. I’ve been stuck for a while on this topic, but I feel like I’ve opened a floodgate. If I don’t drown, it’ll be great. Really. 😉
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.
