OK, I’ve updated a few pages today. For those of you who have already read the post for yesterday, I updated it with the poem that I promised. It is at the end of the entry so you can find it easily (sorry, I had to get it out of the car).
Also, I have added pics to the Starwood Entry and the NY entry on 07/28/02 and 09/06/02 respectively. So feel free to check those out at your discretion. (Update 2013 – Sorry but these pictures were linked to another site’s photos which has since gone down. I no longer have copies of them. This is very sad.)
I’m also having trouble with livejournal today. I keep logging in and it keep treating me as though I haven’t. Anyone have an idea as to why this is? Did they change the functions for free live journal users or are they just having trouble today?
I’ll write my entry for today a little later, but first I want to give you the information I promised a while ago on my goals. (I found them in the same notebook as the poem.) I had posted the physical needs (most of which have been taken care of, but I still need the sneakers). Below are my list of goals for my life. I am working on putting things in place now that will make many of these things come to pass already. It’s amazing how powerful simply writing them down can be. Note: these were written in my notebook on the last day I spent with Chuck when we went hiking in the PA woods about two weeks ago. Note, some of these needs/wants have already been put in place but are still on the maintenance list, so they are listed here.
Abundance Needs/Wants List
1) Health and physical fitness (under 180lbs)
2) No worries about money or where it will come from
3) More than enough money to pay my bills and to share!
4) A comfortable, welcoming, physical space to live in and share with others when I choose.
This requires some definition, so here is the definition of friend and lover before I write the list:
Friend: A person with whom I share trust, love, honesty, open communication, shared vision, shared faith, and support. Someone who is my intellectual equal or close (in either direction) who challenges me and my perspective with loving attention to helping me grow as a person. Someone with whom I feel safe to open up and share myself without feeling that I will be judged or looked down on. Someone who can open up and share themselves with me as well. A meeting of equals in support of one another. Someone with whom I share common interests and other common friends. Someone with whom I can share physical contact (hugs, snuggles, kisses, etc.), just because.
Lover: A friend (see above) with whom I can be intimate, sexual, sensual, and share my energy on a regular basis.
So now, on to the needs/wants:
1) A lover with whom I can be physically close on a regular basis.
2) A sense of personal accomplishment
3) A core group of close friends in close physical proximity
4) A group of friends across the country and the world that I can visit regularly and/or who visit me.
5) A sense of freedom to pursue my life as I see fit without too much undue requirements upon it
6) A sense of joy in life and living of it.
7) Quiet time to reflect and enjoy the journey
8) Grabbing onto life and riding it for all it’s worth
9) A strong sense of my own self worth
10) An abiding sense of connection to those around me
11) Releasing my fear of anger
12) A safe/stable home to come home to
13) Maintaining my faith
1) A place to practice my spirituality in safety and welcoming acceptance.
2) A group of people to practice/learn/grow with me.
3) Living in faith that the universe will provide for all my needs and most of my wants.
4) Learning, growing, and progressing along the spiritual path.
5) Sharing this knowledge with others who want and appreciate the knowledge.
(Update 2013 – I have all of these things today and have had them for quite a while. With the exception of being under 180 – that wasn’t required for me to be healthy it seems.)
You know, it’s interesting. I haven’t read this list since I made it. It’s nice to have some clarity on these issues. Perhaps I’ll put it on my list of things to read in the morning when I get up everyday. Focus is a good thing. Hmm…..
Anyway, there is one more bit of interesting stuff for today. I had a few revelations along the path that caused me to sit up and take notice. I shared a couple with you in yesterday’s entry, but there are two more that came out of listening to The Anatomy of Spirit on my drive south.
One is that I have spent a lot of time in the last four years getting in touch with my more feminine side. I was very masculine in my attitudes and actions and I spent time getting that balanced, learning to slow down and to receive more rather than running out to grab what I wanted. Anyway, I was listening to the tapes and Carolyn Myss said that the tree of life overlays the chakras and that the first two chakras represent the feminine and the masculine respectively. Big a-ha for me there. No wonder much of my former life of manifesting was so hard. I was building my structures with no base foundation of feminine energy! Sort of like putting a building on a foundation of sand. Works for a while, but ultimately falls apart in the end as the sands shift.
The second a-ha came when I was looking at the progression through the chakras from a larger point of view of my life. I realized that I have been taking about a year (although I think the first one took two – feminine energy was a hard nut for me to crack) working on the issues of each chakra. This puts me firmly in the heart chakra work now (which I feel to be true). It also means that when I am looking to put together this new speaking business with Kathy, I will be entering the throat chakra dealing with communication. Most appropriate. No wonder this stuff didn’t work out before, I wasn’t on the right step. Nothing like trying to rush things. Sometimes you just have to be patient. (Not my strong suit in the past, but I’m getting better.) Anyway, those were the big a-ha’s. I’l still stewing on some stuff and I’ll update you as it comes together.
(Update 2013 – Seems I had to be more patient than I knew. We’re only just now getting this speaking thing off the ground. It took several more times through the chakras to open things up. I’m glad I didn’t know then how long it would really take.)
In the meantime, I went out to a wine tasting with Caroline and George and a couple of their friends last night. Then we went back to the friend’s house, ate pizza and watched Survivor. I have to say, this is my first time watching this show and it was terrifying to note how much these people knew about the people on the show. I think I’m glad I don’t have a TV these days. It’s not bad, it’s just that it’s so manufactured to be discordant. They obviously picked people who would have problems with each other. I know it makes for better TV, but it’s just oh so much drama. Something I try to leave out of my life if possible (to varying degrees of success). Anyway, that’s it for now. I’m off to do some laundry and sit in front of the TV for a while. Down time is good. Talk to you later!
* This is part of an ongoing series of posts detailing what happened on a spiritual pilgrimage that I took in 2002. To start from the beginning, go to July 2, 2013. To see the entire spiritual journey as it gets published, click on the category “You Want Me To Do WHAT?!!?” to see all of the posts.