I am not a Buddhist, but every time I hear someone talk about it, they seem to say that the Buddha recommended releasing your desires. But I think that a lot of people misunderstand this instruction. In my experience, it is not the desires themselves that cause the problem, but instead the ATTACHMENT to realizing those desires that is the root of pain.
Desires Are Necessary
If we were to release all desire, we would be giving up the root of our creative nature. Our desire is what motivates us to adventure, take risks, and step outside of our comfort zones. Desire is what tells us what is missing in our lives. It is what allows us to dream.
Attachment To Outcome Is What Causes Pain
But it is when we get attached to the outcome or acquisition of those desires that we set ourselves up for pain. Even if we invest in the desires themselves and what we THINK they represent, it can be a problem. Here are some examples of what I mean.
When Your Desire Isn’t Your Desire
In my youth, I used to “need” sex. I would go out and find a quick hookup so that I could get that need met. If I couldn’t, I was physically uncomfortable. But when I sat with that desire and looked at what was under it, I discovered two things:
- What I really “needed” was touch. My makeup is such that touch is an important factor in my life. I found that when I surrounded myself with people who were huggers and snugglers, that my “need” for sex was greatly diminished.
- The other thing I wanted when these “needs” arose was love/intimacy. I felt empty and I wanted someone to treat me as though I was special, important and desired. As you can imagine, the random hookups weren’t much for accomplishing that task. What I learned over time of sitting with that need was that it wasn’t that I needed someone else to treat me in those ways, I need to treat myself that way so that I never got to the point where I felt empty and needed someone else to fill me back up.
So even though I am now at my sexual peak and my capacity and bodily engagement in sex is greatly enhanced from where it was back then, it doesn’t hold the sway over me that it used to. And if I don’t get it, it’s not a big deal. I can sit with my juiciness on my own without having to do anything about it because I’ve addressed my inner needs in other ways.
When Your Desire Morphs Form
Working with spiritual leaders, healers, and other light workers, I have discovered that desires often morph. And nowhere is that more true than when you are talking about the accomplishment of one’s mission on the planet – especially for light workers. Because our work is so entrenched in our personal growth and ability to hold a clear channel, it can be highly impacted by blocks in our personal energy patterns. It’s also impacted by what I refer to as “implementation anxiety” and the desire to skip steps to get to completion – resulting in trying to collapse the possibility wave too soon into reality. This causes false starts and the like. With a mission like “bring about the shift to the next level of consciousness in the planet” there are a lot of ways that can happen. Choosing the path that is the appropriate one for the moment, the person, and the planet can be a challenge. Following desire in this case can bring you down a rocky road.
Letting Go Of The Outcome
Instead, it’s about following what you know you are meant to do and staying in curiosity about where it will take you. The minute you get into your head before you’re in certainty, you’re lost. This is about being able to sit in the soup of possibility before you choose a path out of it. That is what letting go of desire is about. The desire gets you into the possibility soup. Then you have to let go of it until the soup can cook to perfection and it’s time to eat. If you eat too soon, the flavors won’t have had time to meld and the nutrients won’t have had time to come out in the broth. In short, you go away as hungry as you were when you started.
(Side note – did you notice the photo on this page? Yes, it’s me from a photo shoot many years ago. But what’s more interesting is WHAT you see. Did you see me holding that apple? Look again. It’s not an apple. It’s actually an amethyst crystal. It’s even in color – purple. And yet most people see an apple. Why is that? Because when I did the picture, I invoked Eve. I literally looked at the camera and said “Would you like an apple?” In doing the archetypal pose and invoking the energy, I transmitted the energy of the apple and Eve into your mind. This is one of the ways that energy works. If you’re interested in learning more about it, contact me. I can teach you skills like this and other advanced energetic technologies. Regardless, it’s pretty cool, huh?)
Photo Credit: Matthew Handelman