A couple of years ago, I had the year from hell – IRS tax audit, forced move because my landlord went into foreclosure, the breakup of a long-term relationship and the death of my m0ther – all in under 9 months.
I was screaming “uncle” at the universe and it was stomping on my face over and over again.
As a result, I stopped trusting the universe. I’m not sure when it happened, but it did, and I have been in a slump ever since.
It’s Easy to Get Negative
It’s so easy to get stuck in a negative mindset. Everything around us is focused on the negative. I lost my habit of thinking positively and moving forward with the expectation that things would work. I stopped choosing to be happy. And it spiraled.
Getting Out Is Hard Work
Negative thoughts are like an addiction. They feed us with adrenaline and angst and something to complain about. They give us permission to be a victim and to keep ourselves from having to be responsible for our lives. And I had fallen into that trap – between the grief and the loss and the stress – I just couldn’t keep myself from falling in again. It’s a funny thing, no matter how many times you fall in and have to haul yourself out of it, it’s still a moment-by-moment discipline to keep from jumping back into the hole – until it isn’t.
Getting In the Habit
It’s hard work to re-establish the habit, but then it’s easier again. There are moments of backsliding, but they become more and more fleeting as you work on it. So that’s what I’ve been doing since January – dragging my sorry butt out of that hole over and over again. And it’s working. I knew it would, but it didn’t make it easier. But as I find my footing on solid ground further and further away from that hole, I’m seeing the world as the bright and shiny place I’ve always known it to be. I’ve seen myself as less and less the victim that I know I’m not. I’m standing on my own two feet and screaming “Hello world! I’m baaaaack!!!”
How Are Your Keeping Yourself In the Hole?
What is your trigger that causes you to jump back into the hole? What is that moment, or person, or thought, or experience that knocks you off your feet each time? And how can you take back the power from it?
Taking Back Your Power
As a practicing shaman, I talk to people a lot about owning their power and choosing where to place it. When you get triggered by someone or something, it’s not about them – it’s about you.
I stopped trusting the universe, it didn’t stop trusting me and it didn’t suddenly become less trustworthy. I did that. And I paid the price. And until I own that, I can do nothing to change it. I take my power back by refusing to be the victim and by owning my part in it.
When you are triggered, the key isn’t to move away from the upset, but to move into it with a cold, hard look at yourself. Take the other person out of the picture. They are just pushing a button that you installed. Look at the button and see how you can remove it. That’s the only way to truly solve the problem.
Be Kind To Yourself
This kind of introspection is difficult. It’s sometimes really slow-going depending on how deeply held your stories are around the issue. So don’t be hard on yourself if it takes you time to work it out. Some things just take time. It took you time to put them in place and to nurture them, it will take you time to root them out too. So try not to beat yourself up if it’s not going as quickly as you’d like.
If you’re having a hard time getting through something or you’re just so triggered that you can’t see around it to be able to see your part in it, that’s a good time to reach out for help. As you can see, I have a lot of experience with this particular process. I’ve been in and out of the hole a ton of times in my life and I know the way. I can help. Call me to book a private session. One of my great skills is the ability to give people a new perspective on things. And sometimes, that’s all it takes to move things forward.