It’s so true that we often come at life from a place of lack. We think we are the only one who doesn’t have (enough) love. Or the only one desperately wishing to be touched, held, caressed. But this is the human condition. This is the nature of who we are. We are all silently begging to be loved, silently wishing to be treasured, quietly, desperately hoping someone will notice we are in pain. We are not living in this place all the time consciously, but it lies, just beneath the surface, digging into our hearts, weighing into our souls. We know that we are meant to be loved and cherished and it is a moment-by-moment disappointment when it doesn’t happen. We are internally focused on what is missing.
But that is the rub. What we focus on expands. And so in focusing on what is missing, we get more of missing it – the hole seems larger the problem more expansive and the depths of our despair deeper. If instead, we focus on what we have, we can change our perspective and thus our experience. We have an abundance of love to give. It’s not a limited-supply commodity. It’s there, inside us, just waiting to get out. And the funny thing about love is that it reflects so easily. So when we express our love for others, through small acts and big ones, we see it reflected back to us in the faces of the recipients. And when we are being loving to a stranger (or a loved one) who doesn’t see or appreciate our love, this is a reflection too – of our own inability to receive the love that is all around us. It is a kind reminder to look around and see where we are not receiving love and to go and claim it.
One of my favorite acts is to go back in time to before I learned how to open to receive love again in my life and to find memories of people who were loving me but I didn’t see it. I go back to those times and receive that love now. I take it in and let it fill me to overflowing. Those people have no idea that I’ve finally received the love they offered me all those years ago, but I have. And those to whom we offer our love today who cannot receive it, may be able to receive it in the future just like I did. No effort is wasted, no time lost, no love is ever completely without purpose. Love. Love everyone. And see how your life can change.