Sometimes we get stuck. No matter how hard we try, we are mired down. We’ve avoided negative thoughts, taken responsibility for our actions, and made a concerted effort to bring ourselves authentically into the world and nothing works. This is when you know that there is a piece of you missing. Something that is holding onto you for dear life silently screaming “NO! Don’t leave me here!” And it is that part of you that holds you back.
It is in these times that we have to go digging around in the muck and the mire of our shadow selves – those parts of ourselves that we don’t usually want to look at. You know, the ugly bits that we’d rather not admit exist. We often find parts of ourselves that, over the years, have become stuck in the ugly places. And, because we didn’t want to look at the ugly bits, we abandoned those parts of ourselves to that space. But eventually, as all things do, this process catches up with us.
Because as much as we’d like to believe that we can just jettison the cruft – we can’t. We’re attached to it. And until we deal with it, we won’t let it go. Meaning that we would have to leave that part of us that is attached to it behind in order to move away from it. But eventually you end up with a soul filled with holes crying out for healing. And it is in these moments that we have to go back and find those lost parts of ourselves. We have to root around in the muck and get our hands, feet, and faces dirty. We have to finally face whatever it was that caused us to cut bait and run before.
I find that we are often braver for others than we can be for ourselves. We would run into a burning building to save a loved one – or even just some random child we see begging for help from the window, but we won’t look at our fears to save ourselves. So here is my invitation to you today. See that missing piece of you as a helpless little girl in a burning building begging for rescue. Be brave – if not for yourself – be brave for her. Go into the fire, face your demons, and be reunited with the part of you that you abandoned because it was too hard to deal. That part of you has gifts to contribute to your life and you won’t be the same if you don’t save her.
Get help if you need it (and we all need help sometimes). But do it. It’s the hardest and most rewarding work you’ll ever do in your life.